Have you ever wanted to say something at work but stopped yourself because you were worried about how it might sound?
Perhaps you disagreed with a decision, felt uncomfortable with the way someone spoke to you or needed help with a task but did not want to appear incapable. Maybe you had an idea that could improve something in your nursery but decided to keep it to yourself.
If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone.
Speaking up at work can feel surprisingly difficult, particularly when you are new to a role, working towards a qualification or hoping to progress into a more senior position. You may want to be helpful, fit in with your colleagues and show that you can be trusted. The last thing you want is to come across as difficult, disrespectful or unwilling to listen.
But there is an important distinction between being rude and communicating confidently.
Speaking up at work is about expressing your thoughts, asking questions and raising concerns respectfully, without feeling that you have to stay silent to keep everyone happy.
In Early Years, these skills are particularly important. Working in a nursery involves teamwork, communication with parents, supporting children’s development and following procedures that help keep children safe. There will be times when you need to ask for clarification, explain a concern, challenge something that does not seem right or make your own needs understood.
Learning how to do this professionally can help you become more confident in your current role and prepare you for future opportunities.
The good news is that confidence is not something you either have or do not have. It is a skill you can develop with practice.
Why Is It So Difficult to Speak Up at Work?
For many people, the difficulty is not knowing what they want to say. It is worrying about what might happen after they say it.
You might be concerned that a colleague will take your comments personally, that your manager will think you are complaining or that asking a question will make you look inexperienced. If you are an apprentice or a new member of the team, you may feel that you need to prove yourself before you can express an opinion.
These feelings are understandable. Starting a new job means learning how things are done, understanding different personalities and finding your place within a team. It can take time to feel comfortable enough to challenge an idea or admit that something is not working for you.
Sometimes, previous experiences can make speaking up harder. If you have been dismissed, criticised or made to feel uncomfortable for raising a concern in the past, you may become more cautious about doing it again.
There is also a common misconception that being professional means always agreeing, never questioning decisions and putting other people’s needs before your own.
In reality, effective communication requires a balance. You need to listen to others, respect their perspectives and work collaboratively, but you also need to be able to express your own views.
Being quiet does not automatically make you a better team member. Equally, speaking confidently does not mean you have to be the loudest person in the room.
You can be thoughtful, considerate and respectful while still making yourself heard.
Speaking Up Is a Professional Skill, Not a Personality Trait
Some people find it easy to express their opinions in meetings or conversations. Others prefer to think things through before speaking. Neither approach is inherently better.
What matters is being able to communicate when it is necessary.
Workplace confidence is not about never feeling nervous. It is about being able to take a constructive step even when you feel uncertain.
For example, you might feel uncomfortable asking your room leader to explain a procedure again. However, asking for clarification can help you understand your responsibilities and carry them out correctly.
You might worry that suggesting a different approach to an activity will sound critical. But if you explain your idea respectfully and remain open to other suggestions, you are contributing to the team’s work.
You may even need to admit that you have made a mistake. Taking responsibility, explaining what happened and asking how to put things right are all signs of professional maturity.
Over time, these everyday experiences help you develop communication skills, build trust with colleagues and become more confident in your judgement.
They can also prepare you for leadership. Good leaders need to communicate clearly, address difficult situations and make decisions while listening to the people around them.
How to Speak Up at Work Without Sounding Rude
One of the simplest ways to communicate more confidently is to focus on being clear, calm and respectful.
You do not need to apologise for every question, soften every sentence or explain yourself at length. Often, a straightforward statement is more effective than a long explanation.
1. Say What You Mean Clearly
When you are worried about upsetting someone, it can be tempting to talk around the point.
You might say, “I’m probably being silly, but I just wondered if maybe we could possibly look at doing this another way?”
Although the intention is polite, the message can become difficult to follow. It may also suggest that you do not have confidence in your own suggestion before the other person has even considered it.
Try instead:
“Could we look at another way of approaching this? I have an idea that might help.”
The second version is still respectful, but it is clearer and more confident.
You do not need to remove all warmth from your communication. A friendly tone, a genuine question and a willingness to listen can make a direct statement feel collaborative rather than confrontational.
The aim is not to sound forceful. It is to make your message easy to understand.
2. Ask Questions When You Need Clarity
Asking questions is one of the most useful ways to build confidence at work.
If you are unsure about an instruction, a deadline or a responsibility, asking for clarification is better than guessing and hoping you have understood correctly.
This is particularly important in Early Years, where procedures, safeguarding responsibilities and children’s individual needs must be understood.
Instead of saying nothing because you are worried about appearing inexperienced, try:
“Could you talk me through that again so I can make sure I get it right?”
Or:
“I want to make sure I understand what is expected. Could you clarify which part I should prioritise?”
These questions show that you want to do the job properly.
Remember, you are not expected to know everything from day one. Learning involves asking questions, receiving guidance and gradually becoming more independent.
Even experienced practitioners need clarification sometimes, especially when procedures change or an unfamiliar situation arises.
3. Share Your Ideas Without Apologising for Them
You do not need to be the most experienced person in the room to have a useful idea.
As you develop your skills, you may notice opportunities to improve an activity, organise a task differently or make something easier for children and colleagues.
If you are nervous about sharing your thoughts, start by introducing your suggestion in a way that invites discussion.
For example:
“I’ve been thinking about how we approach this. Would it be worth trying a different method?”
Or:
“I noticed the children responded well when we did this last week. Could we build on that?”
You are not claiming to have all the answers. You are contributing an observation and opening a conversation.
Your suggestion may be adopted, adapted or not taken forward. That is part of working with other people. The value lies in being willing to contribute and learning from the response.
If your idea is not accepted, try to understand why rather than assuming it was a mistake to speak up.
Professional confidence grows when you learn that you can express a view without needing everyone to agree with it.
How to Set Boundaries at Work Without Feeling Guilty
Being helpful is a valuable quality, especially in a team environment. But there is a difference between supporting colleagues and agreeing to everything, regardless of your own workload or responsibilities.
If you regularly take on extra tasks, stay late to help others or struggle to say when you are under pressure, you may eventually find it difficult to manage your own responsibilities.
Setting boundaries is not about refusing to help. It is about being honest about what you can reasonably do and communicating that clearly.
When You Have Too Much Work to Do
Imagine you have several tasks to complete and a colleague asks you to take on something else.
You want to help, but you are concerned that saying no will make you appear uncooperative.
Rather than automatically agreeing, explain the situation and invite a discussion about priorities.
You could say:
“I’m happy to help, but I need to finish these tasks first. Which would you like me to prioritise?”
This demonstrates a willingness to work together without pretending you have unlimited time.
In a nursery, responsibilities often need to be balanced around children’s needs and the requirements of the setting. If workload pressures are affecting your ability to complete tasks safely or properly, raise the issue with the appropriate manager rather than simply trying to manage everything yourself.
When Someone Speaks to You Inappropriately
It can be difficult to respond when a colleague speaks sharply, makes an unfair comment or dismisses your contribution.
Your instinct may be to ignore it to avoid conflict. Sometimes, choosing not to engage in the moment is sensible, particularly if emotions are running high. But if the behaviour continues, it may be necessary to address it.
You might say:
“I’m happy to discuss this, but I’d appreciate it if we could speak to each other respectfully.”
Or:
“I understand that we see this differently. Can we talk through the issue without making it personal?”
These phrases focus on the behaviour and the conversation rather than attacking the other person.
If the behaviour is repeated, intimidating or inappropriate, you do not have to resolve it through a direct conversation alone. Seek support from your manager or follow the organisation’s procedures for raising concerns.
Being professional does not mean accepting behaviour that makes you feel unsafe or undermines your ability to do your job.
When You Need Time to Think
Not every question needs an immediate answer.
If you are asked to agree to something and you are uncertain, give yourself time to consider it.
You could say:
“Let me check what is involved before I commit to that.”
Or:
“I need to look at my current responsibilities first. Can I come back to you?”
Taking a moment to think can help you make a more considered decision. It is better to give an honest answer than to agree under pressure and struggle to deliver later.
How to Give Feedback Without Making Things Awkward
Giving feedback can feel uncomfortable because it involves saying something that another person may not want to hear.
However, feedback is an important part of learning and working effectively with others. It helps people understand what is going well, where improvements may be needed and how they can work together more successfully.
The key is to focus on the situation, explain your perspective and avoid making assumptions about another person’s intentions.
For example, telling a colleague, “You never listen to me,” is likely to make them defensive. It is broad, personal and difficult to respond to constructively.
A more useful approach would be:
“When I was explaining the activity earlier, I didn’t get the chance to finish. Could we make sure we both have time to explain our ideas next time?”
This describes what happened, explains the issue and suggests a way forward.
You can use the same principle when giving feedback to someone more senior, although the wording may need to reflect your relationship and the situation.
For example:
“I wanted to ask about the feedback I received on that task. Could you help me understand what I should do differently next time?”
This approach shows that you are willing to learn while making sure you understand the expectations.
If you disagree with feedback, you can ask questions rather than immediately rejecting it.
Try:
“I understand your point. Could I explain what happened from my perspective?”
The aim is not to win an argument. It is to reach a clearer understanding and decide what happens next.
How to Respond When Someone Gives You Feedback
Speaking up is not only about expressing your own thoughts. It is also about being able to listen when someone else has something to say.
Receiving feedback can be difficult, particularly when you have worked hard or feel that your intentions have been misunderstood.
It is natural to feel disappointed or defensive. But try to separate the feedback from your initial emotional reaction.
Start by listening to the full explanation. If something is unclear, ask for an example. Then consider whether there is something useful you can take from the conversation.
You might respond with:
“Thank you for explaining that. Could you give me an example of what I could do differently?”
Or:
“I hadn’t looked at it that way before. I’ll take that on board.”
You do not have to agree with every comment or accept feedback that is unfair. If you believe something has been misunderstood, explain your perspective calmly and provide the relevant context.
Constructive feedback is an opportunity to develop. Knowing how to receive it, question it and act on it is an important professional skill.
Speaking Up About Safeguarding or Other Serious Concerns
In Early Years, some situations require more than a confidence building conversation.
If you have a concern about a child’s safety, a safeguarding issue, unsafe practice or a procedure that is not being followed correctly, it is important to raise it promptly through the appropriate channels.
Do not remain silent because you are worried about upsetting a colleague or challenging someone more senior.
Follow your setting’s safeguarding and reporting procedures, including speaking to the designated safeguarding lead or other appropriate person. If the concern involves the person you would normally report to, use the alternative reporting route set out in your organisation’s procedures.
Where a child may be at immediate risk, follow the relevant emergency and safeguarding procedures without delay.
You do not need to investigate the matter yourself or prove that something is wrong before raising a genuine concern. Explain what you have seen, heard or been told as accurately as possible, and distinguish what you know from what you suspect.
Professional courage sometimes means having a difficult conversation. In childcare, it can also mean recognising when a concern must be escalated rather than handled informally.
Speaking up in these circumstances is not being rude or disloyal. It is part of your responsibility to help protect children and maintain safe practice.
What If You Speak Up and Someone Reacts Badly?
One of the biggest barriers to speaking up is the fear of how another person will respond.
You may choose your words carefully, remain respectful and still find that someone becomes defensive or disagrees with you.
That does not automatically mean you handled the conversation badly.
You are responsible for communicating professionally, but you cannot control another person’s reaction.
If a conversation becomes heated, it may help to pause and return to it when everyone has had time to reflect.
You could say:
“I don’t want this to become an argument. I think it would be better if we took a moment and came back to it.”
If the other person disagrees with your view, listen to their reasoning and explain yours. You may reach an agreement, find a compromise or simply understand each other’s positions more clearly.
If the response involves bullying, intimidation or repeated inappropriate behaviour, seek support through the appropriate workplace channels.
It is also worth reflecting on the conversation afterwards. Was your message clear? Was the timing appropriate? Is there anything you would change next time?
Reflection is not about blaming yourself for every difficult interaction. It is about learning from experience and becoming more confident in future conversations.
Five Small Ways to Build Your Confidence at Work
You do not need to wait until you feel completely confident before you start speaking up. In fact, confidence often develops because you take small steps and discover that you can handle the situation.
Start by asking one question when you need clarification rather than pretending you understand. Share an idea in a team discussion, even if it is only a small suggestion. Practise explaining your priorities when your workload becomes difficult to manage. Ask for feedback on something you want to improve. And when you need to raise a concern, think about the key point you want to communicate before starting the conversation.
It can also help to prepare a few phrases in advance. If you know you find it difficult to disagree, practise saying, “I see it slightly differently. Could I explain why?” If you struggle to ask for help, try, “I’d like to make sure I get this right. Could you show me how you would approach it?”
You may feel awkward the first few times. That is normal. The more you practise, the easier it becomes to find the words that feel natural to you.
You can also keep a note of situations you handled well. Perhaps you asked a question you would previously have avoided, gave a colleague constructive feedback or explained that you needed more time to complete a task.
Recognising these moments helps you see progress that might otherwise go unnoticed.
How Speaking Up Can Help You Become a Better Leader
If you want to progress in Early Years, communication is one of the most valuable skills you can develop.
Leadership is not simply about having a job title or being responsible for other people. It involves building trust, setting clear expectations, making decisions and helping a team work towards shared goals.
As you move into roles such as senior practitioner, room leader, deputy manager or nursery manager, you will face situations where clear communication becomes increasingly important.
You may need to address a performance concern, resolve a disagreement, give constructive feedback, explain a change or support someone who is struggling.
You will also need to listen. Good leaders create opportunities for other people to speak honestly, ask questions and share concerns without feeling that they will automatically be criticised.
The skills work together. Someone who can express their own views respectfully is better placed to encourage open communication across a team. Someone who can listen to feedback without becoming defensive is more likely to learn and improve. And someone who can set boundaries clearly is better able to manage competing demands and explain expectations to others.
These abilities are developed over time. They come from experience, reflection, learning and a willingness to approach difficult situations differently.
You do not need to become a completely different person to become a confident leader. You need to understand your strengths, recognise where you can improve and practise the skills that will help you lead effectively.
Develop Your Confidence With the Lead & Inspire Early Years Leadership Accelerator
If you are interested in progressing your career in Early Years, developing your communication and leadership skills is a useful place to start.
Swift Childcare’s Lead & Inspire Early Years Leadership Accelerator is a 10 month leadership development programme designed by Early Years leaders for Early Years leaders.
The programme is designed to help people develop the skills and understanding needed to take on leadership responsibilities in the sector. This includes looking beyond day to day tasks and considering how leaders communicate, support their teams, approach challenges and create an environment where people can develop.
Learning to speak up professionally is part of that wider journey. Whether you are building confidence in your current role or preparing for your next career step, understanding how to communicate clearly, give and receive feedback and handle challenging conversations can help you become a more effective practitioner and future leader.
You do not have to know everything before taking the next step in your career. What matters is being willing to learn, reflect and develop the skills that will help you take on greater responsibility.
If leadership is something you would like to explore, download the Lead & Inspire prospectus to find out more about the programme, what it involves and how it could support your development.
[Download the Lead & Inspire Leadership Prospectus]
Speak Up, Build Confidence and Take the Next Step
Learning to speak up at work does not mean becoming confrontational, always having the answer or saying whatever comes into your head.
It means learning to express yourself clearly, ask questions when you need help, set reasonable boundaries and raise concerns in a professional way. It also means being prepared to listen, consider other perspectives and learn from feedback.
These skills can make everyday working relationships easier and help you contribute more confidently to your team. Over time, they can also prepare you for the opportunities and responsibilities that come with leadership.
You do not have to get every conversation right. Start with one small change, practise what works for you and learn from the experience.
If you are ready to build your skills and explore your potential as an Early Years leader, find out more about Swift Childcare’s Lead & Inspire Early Years Leadership Accelerator.
Download the Leadership Prospectus to explore the programme and take your next step towards becoming a more confident Early Years professional.
