Receiving feedback at work can be difficult, particularly when you are still learning, building confidence or trying to prove yourself in a new role. Even a simple suggestion about how to do something differently can leave you questioning your ability, replaying the conversation in your head or worrying about what your manager really thinks of you.
For apprentices, this can feel especially challenging. You are learning to do a job while also developing new skills, gaining experience and working towards a qualification. You may be keen to make a good impression, so hearing that something needs to improve can feel like a sign that you are not doing well enough.
But feedback is a normal and valuable part of working life. It is how we learn what is working, understand what needs to change and develop the confidence to take on more responsibility.
The important thing is learning how to handle feedback constructively without allowing it to undermine your confidence.
Whether you are an apprentice starting your first job, an Early Years practitioner developing your skills or someone working towards their next career step, learning to receive feedback well can help you become more confident, capable and comfortable in the workplace.
Why does feedback sometimes feel personal?
When someone points out a mistake or suggests a different approach, it is easy to hear more than they actually said.
Your manager might say, “Next time, make sure you update the records before you finish your shift.” You might hear, “You are not organised enough to do this job.”
A colleague might suggest that you communicate more clearly with parents or customers. You might interpret that as, “I am not good at talking to people.”
The feedback itself may be about one specific task or behaviour, but your mind can turn it into a much bigger judgement about your ability or personality.
This is particularly common when you are new to a role. You have less experience to draw on, you may not yet understand all the expectations, and you are still working out how things are done. A small correction can therefore feel much more significant than it really is.
There is also a difference between knowing that you are learning and feeling comfortable with the fact that you are learning. Most people understand that nobody gets everything right first time, but that does not necessarily stop them feeling disappointed when they make a mistake.
The first step is to recognise that feedback about something you have done is not the same as a judgement about who you are.
You can be a capable, committed employee and still have areas to improve. In fact, being willing to recognise those areas is an important part of becoming better at your job.
Reframe feedback as information, not criticism
One of the most useful ways to handle feedback is to change how you think about it.
Instead of asking yourself, “Why are they criticising me?”, try asking, “What can I learn from this?”
That small shift can change the whole conversation. It moves your attention away from feeling judged and towards understanding what you can do differently.
For example, imagine your nursery manager tells you that an activity you planned for the children was too complicated for the age group.
Your immediate reaction might be to feel embarrassed. You spent time preparing the activity and wanted it to go well, so the suggestion may feel like a rejection of your effort.
However, the feedback could help you understand how to adapt activities to children’s developmental stages, provide more appropriate levels of challenge and make better use of your preparation time in future.
The same principle applies in any workplace. If you are told that a report needs more detail, you can learn what information your manager expects. If you are asked to improve your timekeeping, you can explore what is making it difficult to arrive on time and put a practical solution in place. If a colleague says your communication could be clearer, you can ask what a clearer explanation would look like.
This does not mean every piece of feedback will be perfectly delivered or that you must automatically agree with everything you hear. Some feedback may be unclear, based on a misunderstanding or expressed in a way that feels unnecessarily harsh.
It means separating the useful information from your initial emotional reaction, so you can decide what to do with it.
The Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) has reviewed research into workplace performance feedback and highlights an important distinction: feedback can help improve performance, but it can also be counterproductive when it is handled poorly. The way feedback is delivered, the relationship between the people involved and how the recipient responds all matter. Read the CIPD’s evidence review on performance feedback.
The aim is not to enjoy being corrected every time. It is to become more comfortable using feedback to improve.
Give yourself time before responding
You do not have to produce the perfect response to feedback in the moment.
If a comment catches you off guard, it is perfectly reasonable to pause, take a breath and give yourself a moment to process what has been said. Trying to defend yourself immediately can make a conversation more difficult, particularly if you are feeling embarrassed, frustrated or upset.
You might feel tempted to explain every detail of what happened, point out what someone else did wrong or insist that you were doing your best. Sometimes context is important, and there may be a genuine misunderstanding to clear up. But it helps to understand the feedback first before deciding whether you need to explain or challenge anything.
A few simple responses can give you time to think without making the conversation awkward.
You could say:
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“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll have a think about that.”
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“I understand. Could you explain a little more about what you would have liked me to do differently?”
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“I hadn’t looked at it that way. Can I come back to you once I’ve thought it through?”
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“I appreciate you explaining that. I want to make sure I understand what I need to improve.”
These responses show that you are listening and taking the conversation seriously. They do not mean you are admitting to every criticism or agreeing with something you believe is inaccurate.
If the feedback feels upsetting, try not to make a decision about your ability, your future or your relationship with your manager while the emotion is still fresh. Give yourself time to reflect, then return to the conversation if you need more information.
How to ask for clarification without feeling awkward
Sometimes the hardest feedback to deal with is feedback that is too vague to act on.
Comments such as “You need to be more professional”, “You need to show more initiative” or “You need to improve your communication” may leave you wondering what you are actually expected to change.
It is difficult to improve when you do not know what improvement looks like.
Asking for clarification is not a sign of weakness. It shows that you want to understand the expectation and take practical steps towards meeting it.
The key is to ask specific, constructive questions.
If your manager says you need to be more organised, you could ask:
“What would better organisation look like in my role? Are there particular tasks or deadlines you would like me to manage differently?”
If you are told that you need to show more initiative, try:
“Could you give me an example of where you would have liked me to take more initiative? That would help me understand what to look for next time.”
If someone says your work needs to improve, ask:
“Which part of the work would you like me to focus on first, and what would a good result look like?”
You can also ask for an example of work that meets the expected standard, particularly if you are learning a new task or process.
These questions turn a general comment into something you can act on. They also give your manager an opportunity to explain their expectations, which may not have been clear in the first place.
For apprentices, this is particularly important. You are not expected to know everything from day one, and asking sensible questions is part of learning a role. Government apprenticeship guidance encourages employers to provide clear expectations, mentoring, regular one to one guidance and performance reviews to support apprentices’ progress. Read the apprenticeship support guidance.
Remember, you do not have to work out every improvement on your own. Your manager, workplace mentor and training provider can all play a part in helping you understand what is expected and how to get there.
Focus on the behaviour, not your personality
Feedback is much easier to act on when you focus on what happened rather than what you think it says about you.
Consider the difference between these two statements:
“I am terrible at communicating.”
“I need to give clearer updates when a task is delayed.”
The first is a broad judgement about yourself. The second identifies a specific behaviour you can change.
Similarly, “I am not good enough for this job” is a conclusion that does not help you move forward. “I need more practice using this system” identifies a practical development need.
This distinction matters because confidence can be affected when we turn individual mistakes into sweeping conclusions about our ability. One difficult conversation does not define your performance, and one area for development does not cancel out the things you already do well.
Try to be specific about what the feedback relates to. Was it a particular task, the timing of something, the way you communicated, a decision you made or a skill you have not yet developed?
Once you have identified the issue, you can work out what support, practice or change might help.
In an Early Years setting, for example, feedback might relate to how you record observations, prepare activities, communicate with parents or follow a procedure. It is important to take feedback about children’s safety, safeguarding and wellbeing seriously, but it is also useful to recognise that learning the correct procedures takes time and guidance.
In an office or business administration role, feedback might relate to accuracy, prioritising work, managing records or keeping colleagues informed. Again, these are skills that can be developed through practice, clear expectations and support.
You are not starting from scratch every time you receive feedback. You are building on what you already know.
How to turn feedback into an action plan
Once you understand the feedback, the next step is deciding what to do with it.
It can be tempting to leave a conversation feeling determined to improve, only to return to your usual routine without making any changes. A little structure can help turn good intentions into progress.
Start by identifying the main point. If your manager has raised several issues, ask which one is the priority. Trying to change everything at once can feel overwhelming and make it harder to see whether you are improving.
Next, agree on a practical action. This might mean using a checklist, asking for a demonstration, reviewing your work before submitting it, setting reminders or practising a task with a colleague.
Then decide how you will know whether things are improving. You might agree to review your progress at your next one to one meeting, ask your manager to look at a piece of work or check that you are following the correct process consistently.
For example, if you have received feedback about completing tasks on time, your plan could be to agree priorities with your manager at the start of the week, break larger tasks into smaller steps and flag potential delays earlier. At your next meeting, you can discuss what has improved and whether anything else is getting in the way.
This approach also helps you see progress that might otherwise go unnoticed. Rather than remembering only the fact that you received criticism, you can recognise the steps you have taken since then.
And if you need help, ask for it. You might need additional training, clearer instructions, more opportunities to practise or a better understanding of how your work fits into the wider team. Being proactive about support is part of taking responsibility for your development.
What to say when you disagree with feedback
Not all feedback will feel accurate. There may be information your manager does not have, a misunderstanding about what happened or circumstances that affected the outcome.
You can explain your perspective without becoming defensive or turning the conversation into an argument.
For example:
“I understand the point you’re making. Could I explain what happened from my side?”
“I can see why it looked that way. There was another factor involved that I think is worth explaining.”
“I want to make sure I understand this fairly. Could we look at the example together?”
These phrases allow you to add context while keeping the discussion constructive.
It is also worth recognising that disagreeing with feedback does not always mean the other person is wrong. You may have had good reasons for doing something, but there may still be a better way to approach it next time. Equally, listening carefully does not mean you have to accept an unfair or inaccurate judgement without question.
If the feedback is inconsistent, unclear or seems unfair, ask for specific examples and agreed standards. If the conversation involves bullying, discrimination or inappropriate behaviour, that is different from ordinary constructive feedback. You can seek support from an appropriate manager, HR contact, workplace representative or training provider rather than feeling you have to manage the situation alone.
The goal is to have a fair conversation about what happened and what needs to happen next.
How to respond when feedback knocks your confidence
Sometimes, even when you understand the feedback and know it is intended to help, it can still leave you feeling disappointed.
You might worry that your manager has lost confidence in you, that your colleagues have noticed your mistake or that you are falling behind everyone else. These thoughts can be particularly difficult to manage when you are working towards a qualification or trying to establish yourself in a new career.
When this happens, remind yourself of three things.
First, you are allowed to be learning. Developing a skill takes time, and making mistakes does not mean you are incapable of doing the job.
Second, one piece of feedback is not the complete picture. Think about the things you are doing well, the progress you have made and the skills you have already developed. It is easy to focus on a single criticism and overlook everything else.
Third, confidence often comes from taking action, not waiting until you feel confident. When you apply feedback, practise a skill and begin to see improvement, you give yourself evidence that you can develop and overcome challenges.
If a conversation has left you feeling unsettled, it can help to write down what was actually said, what you initially felt and what action you can take. This separates the facts from the assumptions you may have made in the moment.
For example, the fact might be that your manager asked you to improve the detail in your records. The assumption might be that they think you are not capable of doing your job. Those are two very different things.
If you find yourself repeatedly worrying about feedback, talk to someone you trust. A workplace mentor, tutor or manager may be able to offer perspective and help you identify the next step.
Feedback works both ways
Learning to receive feedback is important, but so is learning to ask for it.
You do not have to wait until a formal review to find out how you are doing. Regular, informal conversations can help you understand what is going well and identify areas where you could improve before small issues become bigger problems.
You might ask your manager:
“How do you think I’m getting on with this task?”
“Is there anything I could do differently next time?”
“What is one thing you think I should focus on developing over the next few weeks?”
“What am I doing well that I should keep doing?”
That last question is particularly useful. Development is not just about identifying weaknesses. It is also about understanding your strengths and learning how to use them more effectively.
Feedback should be a conversation rather than a one way judgement. You should have the opportunity to ask questions, explain your perspective and agree on what happens next.
For employers, managers and mentors, creating that kind of environment matters. People are more likely to ask for help and discuss mistakes when they feel they will be treated fairly and listened to. The CIPD’s research into employee engagement also highlights the importance of supportive management, positive working relationships and giving employees a voice. These factors are associated with engagement and employees’ intentions to stay with an organisation. Explore the CIPD’s research on employee engagement.
For apprentices, regular feedback can be particularly valuable because it connects everyday work with learning and progress towards a qualification. It helps you understand not just whether you have completed a task, but what you have learned and how you can apply that knowledge next time.
Why handling feedback well can help you stay and progress
Confidence at work is not about never making mistakes or never feeling nervous. It is about developing the skills and self belief to deal with challenges, learn from experience and keep moving forward.
When feedback is handled constructively, it can help you understand your role more clearly, improve your performance and recognise where you are making progress. It can also make it easier to have honest conversations with your manager about your development and future opportunities.
For employers, this has practical benefits too. People who receive useful guidance and feel supported in their development have a better basis for building their skills and contributing to the team.
The government’s Apprenticeship Evaluation 2021 employer research found that many employers viewed apprenticeships as beneficial for developing relevant skills, improving productivity and supporting staff retention. The findings also reported that 73% of employers with apprentices who had completed during the survey period had retained some of those apprentices, while 62% had retained all of them. These figures relate to that particular survey period and should not be treated as a current retention rate for all apprenticeships, but they illustrate why employers have an interest in supporting people beyond their initial training. Read the government’s apprenticeship evaluation.
Of course, feedback alone will not solve every workplace challenge. People also need appropriate training, clear expectations, manageable workloads and opportunities to develop. But when feedback is part of a supportive working relationship, it can help employees feel that they are learning rather than simply being judged.
That matters when you are deciding whether you can see a future in a role. Knowing that you can ask questions, make progress and work towards your next goal can make a real difference to how you feel about your job.
Five things to remember when you receive feedback at work
When feedback feels uncomfortable, keep these principles in mind:
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Pause before reacting. Give yourself time to understand what has been said.
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Ask for clarity. You cannot act on feedback properly if you do not understand it.
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Focus on specific behaviours. A skill that needs developing is not a judgement on your worth or potential.
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Agree on a practical next step. Turn the conversation into something you can work on.
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Recognise your progress. Look at what has changed, not just what still needs improvement.
You will not always get feedback that is delivered perfectly, and you will not always agree with every comment. But you can develop the confidence to listen, ask questions, reflect and decide what to do next.
Frequently asked questions about handling feedback at work
How do I stop taking feedback personally?
Start by separating the comment from the conclusion you draw about yourself. Ask what specific task, behaviour or skill the feedback relates to, rather than assuming it means you are not good enough. Give yourself time to process the conversation and identify one practical action you can take.
What should I say when my manager gives me constructive criticism?
Listen carefully, thank them for explaining their concerns and ask questions if anything is unclear. You could say, “Could you give me an example of what you would like me to do differently?” This helps you understand the expectation and shows that you want to improve.
How do I ask for feedback without looking inexperienced?
Asking for feedback shows that you are taking responsibility for your development. Try asking specific questions, such as, “What is one thing I could improve next time?” or “Am I meeting the expectations for this task?” These questions help you learn and demonstrate a willingness to develop.
What if I disagree with feedback at work?
Stay calm, ask for specific examples and explain your perspective respectfully. You can acknowledge the point being made without automatically agreeing with every part of it. If you believe the feedback is unfair, inappropriate or based on a misunderstanding, ask to discuss it further and seek support where necessary.
Why is feedback important for apprentices?
Feedback helps apprentices connect their workplace experience with the skills and knowledge they are developing through their training. It clarifies expectations, identifies areas for improvement and gives them an opportunity to practise new skills with support from their manager, mentor and training provider.
Build your confidence one step at a time
Learning how to handle feedback at work is a skill that develops with experience. The more you practise listening, asking questions and acting on useful advice, the easier it becomes to see feedback as part of your development rather than a personal criticism.
You do not need to get everything right first time. What matters is being willing to learn, taking responsibility for your progress and asking for support when you need it.
For apprentices, that is an important part of building a successful career. Every task gives you experience, every constructive conversation gives you an opportunity to learn, and every improvement helps you become more confident in what you can do.
At Swift Childcare, we support learners to develop the knowledge, practical skills and confidence they need to progress in their careers. With the right training, guidance and support, feedback can become a useful part of that journey, helping you recognise your strengths, work on areas for development and take your next step with confidence.
Find out more about Swift Childcare’s apprenticeship programmes and learner support, and discover how the right training can help you develop at work.
